Naming a baby… such a pivital moment in a parent’s life, and one that will last forever (unless they change their name like I did but that’s a whole other post!) so most people put a lot into this one right. But is it really only our right exclusively?
I have a mixed bag of opinion when it comes to naming children. In the first place, I did change my name as an adult which added some stress to my parent’s since they were pretty attached to the name they had choosen for me and I used for years. But, knowing how changing your name feels to the person changing it and how it affects the parents that chose the original name I am pretty open about naming rights. I cannot tell you how many times I have had strangers come up to me and tell me their “I’m named the wrong name” story! I mean really, us parents choose the one word another human being is going to carry with them for their whole lifespan? I think that’s a bit much to be attached to as a parent. Because it’s NOT OUR NAME! Think of those children that need to change their name because they are transgender, or they have a negative connotation to the word or what if they just don’t feel like the name you gave them? Heck, billions of people go by “nicknames” that are even stupider than any name usually given at birth like “stretch” or “hoops” and even go so far as to have those nicknames printed on their business cards or business monikers to escape their given name. So really… do us parents need to place such massive attachment to what we choose for another human being initially? I say no.
So with all that said, I will tell you my first son’s name was a bit of a fight with my ex-husband… but in the end, most everything was a fight between us (hence the “ex” part of husband) but once my older son’s name was set it laid the groundwork for any future children. I say this because I am one of those people that kind of get stuck on my children’s names being similiar to each other in that they start with the same first letter. So I had a whole list of similiar adjectives (or names) that would mimic the older son’s name by the time I had my second son 10 years later. What also made it easier was that while I was in a deep self-healing spot after my divorce, my younger son came to me in an epiphany while I was meditating on a mountain top in Boulder, Colorado.
Yep, I’m one of those lucky people who the universe has spoken to in very memorable places… the kind of moments that stories and books are made out of. And 5 years later this possibility, this name and person now exists in my life and I am deeply blessed by his presence! But how could you not be blessed with children that carry these names??
However we choose the names of our children and whether or not they change them, make nicknames of them or not when they are older, we as parents should just go with what feels good to us at the time, because their names might not be who they become in life and that’s just fine. “They come out of my body. I get to name them, it’s just that easy”. REALLY??? In my parent book HEALTHY and HAPPY are the ways for my child to be born and for me to help them live in this world… whether they came out of my body, or I adopted them or they named me as their parent vicariously. But, I also might not be the norm for parents in modern society and that’s just fine with me because I think those two words (Healthy and Happy) also make great names for a child too!